Thursday, July 27, 2006

Don't call it a comeback

Man this blog needs a little pick me up just about as badly as I do.

I went back to the gym yesterday for the first time since our cruse to Mexico. I know, I know that was almost a month ago. But I wanted to make sure that I was in shape for the cruse just in case the guys retaliated and gave me a banana sling of my own. Because if they did you know it would have come down to a double dog dare for me to wear it to the ships pool and you know Id have to do it as refusing a double dog dare is tantamount to social suicide. So, I wanted to look good # 1 to preserve whatever dignity one can while wearing a free from ball sack and #2 I thought if I rocked it maybe I cloud get some gay dudes to pay for the ridiculously overpriced ships drinks.

Anyway since then I think the blog and my 24... 12... 0k more like 8 inch guns haven’t received the love they need. Going back to the gym is always fun. I think I lost about 20 pounds and about 4 reps off my bench which means that putting up 150 may have caused some orbital hemorrhaging. Which was cool because they had an eye patch on hand, and for those who know me well know that I love a good eye patch.


This is all some kind of metaphor for saying that Ill try to be better about keeping the blog up to date and stuff. And I hope the other guys will as well.

Monday, July 10, 2006

For You Star Wars Fans

Somehow I missed this one...

Dr. Mr. Guy at the gym,



<-----Is not something that you need before going to the gym. Now I know that working out in a "wife beater" is cool and I have no problem with that. In fact, I'm sure you feel quite liberated in doing so. But why in the name B.A. Baracus would you feel the need to slather J+J's signature product all over you before coming. C'mon, nobody looks like that when they sweat. You were "glistening" and men don't do that. Anybody that's been in the gym for a bit can tell the difference between a sweater and an oiler. The oilers mysteriously have no other telltale signs of sweat just that shiny skin.
So really, why on the day you're doing squats would you come in with that stuff all over your shoulders. I call that out as a safety violation. Plus, I mean, c'mon, it's pretty much all guys in there anyway. I know you were trying to draw attention to your shiny man shoulders, but dude, oil?
I've seen some interesting folks at the gym: obviously the oilers, the girl at 24 hour fitness that had an adam's apple bigger than mine, neck chains guy at the world gym, speedo wearing, tear away pants guy at world gym...
You know, the more I think about it, a lot of these guys put on a show about being the ultimate tough guys. But when you show up in breakaway pants with a speedo underneath and then actually rip them off and pose...Or you show up in a tight-ass wife beater with baby oil slathered all over your body, you want the attention of the other guys in the room. Which is really kind of disturbing. When I go to the gym, I show up work out, and leave. Granted, thanks to Miguel, I do have a nice tangerine number that I could wear, but nobody wants to see that.
So listen all you gym freaks, leave the bedroom stuff at home. Please, for everybody. Leave your baby oil at home for use with your "special" movies. Chains and bondage really have no place in the gym.
And for all that is holy....
please...
no speedos.

Friday, July 07, 2006

FREE WEEKEND PLAY

This game is the Shiznit.... download it and play for free this weekend.