Saturday, May 19, 2012

Knife Review

I just thought I would review a knife I recently purchased. It is a Gerber Profile Fixed-Drop Point.

A little background...



I cut a lot of shit at work; I mean a lot. I used to believe that Gerber, once synonymous with high quality blades, had turned to complete dog shit when they were bought by Fiskars and then all but their most expensive knives began being made in Taiwan or China proper. I have several examples of their pre-buyout knives with "USA" on them and one from after the move. That one post-Fiskars knife made me swear off the brand entirely. Now, I will repeat that I cut an inordinate amount of shit during a given work day and my $65 Kershaw (which is full of win) was starting to show this wear and tear. I decided I needed something for cutting shit in the not most pleasant of environments and my pre-requisites for such a knife were:



1) It needed to be a fixed blade since my Kershaw was a folder and I got tired of cleaning the shit I had been cutting out of it.


2) The blade needed to be 3-4" in length because I sometimes cut some pretty thick shit.


3) It needed to be cheap as the wear and tear on the aforementioned Kershaw showed that it would probably be replaced soon and I was wanting to keep costs down.


The only thing that fit the bill at the local Wal-Mart was the linked Gerber Profile. I have been using it a few weeks and after the first hard use in less than sterile conditions the "titanium nitride" coating began pitting with rust. My first thought was, "Here we go again...another pile of hammered dogshit Gerber!" Fast forward to today...



As usual, there was some shit to be cut. I won't go into details about exactly what happened but the result was the Gerber Profile slicing off a good hunk of my thumb...down to the bone. After the carved piece was found on the ground, in the dirt I went to the local care clinic and had it sewed back on with little fan fare and we shall see Monday if the hunk will re-attach or has become necrotic and must be removed. I will tell you that several shots of lidocaine directly into an open wound is one of the least pleasing experiences you can have. Judging from the throbbing pain in the wounded area I'm betting "lil' hunk" is going to make it through.



In the background of all this keep in mind that this knife, that I keep sharp for a reason you will read in a minute, sliced through my thumb all the way to the bone with ease and caused me no pain whatsoever during the event. I was always taught to keep knives sharp, as sharp as possible because they are safer: they require less effort to cut and so are less likely to slip and in case of a slip or accident make cleaner, more easily repaired cuts. The PA who sewed it back on even remarked that the cut appeared surgical, straight, and clean and made the prognosis of re-attachment all the more better. As I said, the cut caused me no pain. I saw a bunch of blood, thought, "Something in the First Aid Kit will fix this," saw the bone and thought, "Nothing in the First Aid Kit will fix this," and began looking for a large portion of my DNA laying somewhere on the ground. I only started feeling pain once the blood coagulated into the rag keeping even more of my DNA off the ground and went for medical treatment.



Maybe not the review Gerber would like but this knife will cut the living shit out of stuff!


Iknow, I know some of you are thinking I did not do the most important thing and YouTube the moment or snap pics but I will get some after the bandages come off.

Written on an iPad with 9 1/2 fingers.

1 comment:

miguel said...

You sir are amazing! I enjoy reading every one of your posts.